March 17, 2007
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At this moment in time, I have a million things to say yet nothing at all. In the grand scheme of things, there is just so much fucking shit going on. Honestly. I feel upside down and being pulled in a thousand directions. Without giving too much away, let’s just say that even in those times when I feel all adult and grown up, something has to happen to make me think twice about all the decisions I had made or will make. Not really a great place to be. In effect, this has all led to one of my biggest demises: a pounding headache. I guess you can characterize my relationships with headaches as a strictly hateful one. Something about them drives me insane. Maybe it’s the feeling of my temples pounding at my brain and eyes. Maybe it’s the fact that they never seem to go away until 24 hours later. Maybe it’s the never-ending sound of my heartbeat in my ears. One of those, I’m sure. I just hate headaches. I can never get them to go away. I try to keep them at bay at all times, but sometimes one sneaks in to wreck havoc upon me.
I tried my hand at “real” writing the other night – the idea was there, the details were not. Sometimes writing on paper seems tedious. It takes too long to form the thoughts on paper that are in my head. So many times, I have thought to myself, “I should get a tape recorder and just speak into it.” There have been many times when I think of something, start speaking it out loud, know it’s a good idea. Then I try to write it down and it comes out as crap. Total utter crap. One day, one day.
On a whole other note, the fact that Tina now has roller blades has tempted me to ask for roller blades for my birthday. I know, right?! A 21-year old girl asking for roller blades for her birthday. But seriously. I remember when I was younger. My sisters and I would roller blade for hours. If the weather was bad outside or it was winter, we would just roller blade in the basement. I miss those days. Plus, sometimes roller blading would be good instead of walking for exercise – those two miles would fly by so much quicker!
I’m sure you will see me in a week (ha! I stink at writing in here)… so I hope y’all have a good week.
-Kate
