I’m
such a jealous person. I am trying to work through it and try to get it
out of my personality, but I seem stuck with it. I get jealous over
things that happened years (and I mean, years) ago. It’s like if
something really isn’t my going my way or I can’t be in control of it,
that jealousy (and envy) kicks right in. I know what has happened in
the past stays in the past, and there is no use to bringing it into the
present – but ugh. I just get more mad at myself when I do things like
this. I’ve been trying some self-therapy on myself and I thought I was
making some strides but I feel like I’ve been backsliding this week.
Things will work out the way they are supposed to in the way they are
supposed to and I need to find solace in that.
I’m eating hummus right now and my
body couldn’t be happier with me. I also had a salad with a sandwich
today for lunch. The hummus I have right now is Roasted Red Pepper
(which is delicious). I eat it with saltine crackers. Better than other
snacks, and I love it.
Anyways, so I’ve been struggling
with definition in my life. I want a definition of something, but there
is nothing I can do to force it into place. I think I fear it not
working out the way I think it’s going to, and if it doesn’t, it will
suck. Hardcore suck. I have talked to Tina a lot this week and she’s
helping me through some things but it’s still there lingering over my
head. I wake up every morning and wonder. I don’t want to wonder, I
want to know. It feels up in the air, and I want it back on the ground
where I can grasp it. I’ll let you know all know when it’s fixed, but
it’s not up to me.
The weather is driving my cat crazy, and in turn, making me insane. Wish it would go back to summer. I like that a lot better.
Internship interview tomorrow, see ya all later.
Comments (3)
Tina must be the therapist (“i’ll take THE RAPIST for $500, alex!!!”).
What’s the internship for?
Isn’t it crazy to feel like that? There are days where I am shocked at how much I care. I hope all is going well at Purdue. Maybe I’ll stop by sometime soon.
Thanks for visiting my site. I’m a jealous person myself; it hasn’t really waned, so what I’ve had to do is cut certain things out of my life that drive the jealousy. It’s evasion but it sure helps.