December 26, 2005

• This was SERIOUSLY the BEST Christmas EVER.

  ---

  I got awesome gifts from my parents, and my sisters, and my uncles/aunts/grandmas/grandpas. Pathetic listing/gloating follows:

  • a pearl & gold bracelet (which I absolutely LOVE, and actually asked for)
  • a pink/white/brownish-tannish sweater (from uncle & aunt)
  • a white shirt, a cream lacelined tank top, and a “carrot” blouse (from Mom & Dad)
  • The Pacifier dvd from Anne & April
  • the most awesome handmade bag from my Granny that has horses on it
  • two hairbrushes, shampoo/conditioner set, $50 for the salon
    (which I’m using towards a facial), fuzzy socks, $5 off coupon for a
    hair treatment at the salon
  • a silver horse sculpture from Dad
  • a “Sisters” picture frame
  • money
  • body wash/loofa/$50 gift certificate for one of my fave stores from Grandma & Grandpa
  • and Angela got me this really cool, soft, purple, huge blanket!
  • Oh yes, and my mother wired $170 from her credit card to Anthony
    so he could have the money to buy a bus ticket to come up here to visit
    me for SIX days, and FIVE nights…. and I think that honestly that was
    the best gift of all, even though I’m paying her back… it still meant
    so much to me, words cannot describe how estatic I am that she actually
    did that for us.

  Christmas was so much fun. I ate really good spaghetti made by my
  mother, played with my three year cousin for a couple hours (which was
  pretty cool – and that he actually remembered me – and he’s so cute…
  and my kids better be that cute….), watched the Bears kick some Pack
  ass, slept in until 10:07 until my parents felt it necessary to wake me
  up by SINGING loudly into my room….

  And Anthony called me tonight, about two hours ago… and we were
  talking (he’s a little drunk, which is often the only time he calls me
  this late)… and he said the most spectacular things I have ever heard
  come out of his mouth in a long time:

  “I will love you no matter what, Kate. You could have one leg, one ear,
  and only two fingers… and I’ll still love you…. because deep in my
  heart I know that this is the way things are supposed to feel, and why
  would I give up something like this just because we have a few
  problems? I love you very, very, very, very much… and soon, maybe
  this week, I’ll tell you what the whole “more than you’ll ever know”
  REALLY means.”

  I almost started crying. I don’t know why that gets me so much… but
  it does. I am a little nervous about him telling me what the “more than
  you’ll ever know” thing means.. but it can only be good things, right?
  I’m such a wreck, emotionally. I seriously lack the capabilities to
  tell someone how much they mean to me/how much I love them with the
  words that come out of my mouth. I told him that the best way for me to
  express myself is through writing… and that one day, if I ever get up
  the courage to actually sit down and formulate my thoughts into actual
  words to say to him, that will be the day. I wish I could just burst
  out and tell him everything I feel for him. But it’s so hard. That step
  is so difficult for me – I will end up in tears, I know I will. And he
  hates when I cry.

  I know that I love him very much. I know that I want to end up marrying
  him down the road. I know that he’s brought out the best in me. I know
  that he saved me from a slow downward spiral. I know that he’s the best
  person to ever grace my life with his presence, he’s just so real.. and
  genuine.. and he will never be anything other than that. He’s never
  once denied me the luxury of expressing my opinions, he has never once
  cut me down (well, once, when we got into a huge fight – but that.. is
  forgiven.. because we were being really hateful and hurting each
  other…), he has never once been anyone else but him. He’s the perfect
  person for me. He knows the ins and outs of some things I can’t even
  imagine. He’s been there, he’s done that. He tells me stories of when
  he was my age (he’s not old – just five years older….), and he was
  one rebellious child. He’s just awesome. Words cannot explain the love
  I have for that man – sets me straight when I’m being awnry or when I’m
  just a little lost, always offered a helping hand, always been there
  for me when I’m done and out… knows me pretty much inside and outside
  without me even saying a word.

  I have received my Christmas wish for years. For the rest of my life.
  He was it. For so long. I was always wishing, wanting, waiting for
  someone to step into my life that would make me become such a better
  person – to push me to strive for my goals – to never give up on me -
  to feed my intellect and find the drive in me that I knew I had in me.
  I don’t know how many times he has told me, “You can do anything you
  set your mind to, Kate. You are the smartest and most responsible
  person I know. You can do anything.” It’s nice to hear that from
  someone else other than your family.

  It just feels nice. Kinda like home. Just right where I belong.

  [What a blah post, if you can get even a tiny morsel of how I feel somewhere in all that jarble... you're pretty cool.]

  • 2:13 am
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